Billy Ray Cyrus — Credits Page

This page is basically the opening credits of the comic.
It shows us the names of the people who worked on this trash and what they were paid to do. Paid in real, human money.
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It’s interesting that Ban Barry was in charge of art AND continuity. What continuity? This is the first issue. What elaborate backstory is there to the canon of billy ray cyrus?
Did they mess up shit in the first draft that Paul S. Newman wrote?
Was Billy Ray talking to billy ray in a buch of scenes and Barry was like “CONTINUITY ERROR! WE NEED TO FIX THIS! I NEED ANOTHER PAYCHEQUE!!”
Real fans of Billy Ray wouldn’t let them get away with any liberties to his rich character.
Joe Kaufman was in charge of “Book Design,” not sure what that means. Hopefully I will see some impressive layout choices that validates his inclusion.
It took two people to edit this trash, Mike Todd and his assistant, Karl Bollers – so I expect a really tight story and fantastic dialogue.
Mike Warlow represents Marvel Music, a department that I’m guessing is made up of him, sitting alone in a tiny office with all the lights turned out. Occasionally a cockroach will scuttle over his hand. He doesn’t react to the insect. He’s already dead.
All of these sound like fake names. Billy Ray made this himself and paid Marvel to publish it.
Take a look at the watermark on this page. Some dynamic action shots of Billy Ray that we’ll see in the pages ahead!
Soon we’ll all bear witness to him doing such things as looking down, looking up, playing guitar, looking left, looking to the right, looking to the far right, riding a horse and looking left again.
There’s some text at the top that reveals we’re going to be reading TWO stories.
What’s up with them calling him “Cyrus?” That’s his name here? Okay.
So the first story is CYRUS and his horse ROAM (on one of their signature simple jaunts) meet some ghosts or something. Who cares? I don’t. So he fights ghosts. Great.
Great title too. Is this the name of one of his songs? Oh, fuck, it probably is. UGHHHHH.
The second story is when he gets killed by that fat knight from the cover. Probably. It’s asking a lot of questions that no one wants the answer to.
Who’s reading these little recaps anyway. Is anyone picking up the book, reading this page and deciding “Oh, yeah, these adventures sound good!”
If you even look at this comic you’ve already made up your insane mind that you are going to read it. And that you probably hate yourself.
Take a look a the fine print at the bottom; Billy Ray Cyrus owns all the characters that appear in this comic. At any time he can use some of the colourful cast in the pages that follow. I’m sure they’ve popped up in something since 1995. Because they’re great. Right?!?!
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